Sunday, November 22, 2009

Wishes...

Sometimes I wish I could walk my thoughts away.
I wish I could walk my hurt away.
I wish I could walk away.
Walk on and on and on and continue walking forever.
My music and me together.
I wish I could just walk off the face of this planet.
Walk out of people’s memories, hearts.
I wish I could walk my memories away.
Walk slow, walk alone, walk away.
Walk without pain and sorrow and fear.
Forget.
Stop hoping.
Walk till I can’t feel anything anymore.
Walk till nothing else exists.
Walk till I touch the horizon.
Walk the soles off my shoes,
And continue walking after that.
If only I could,
Just walk away..

6 comments:

TeNsEiGa To Me said...

can i walk with you??
hey, just kidding...that is beautiful...i'm no good on giving constructive criticism when people write stuff that seems to me as personal...you know the way you kept repeating "walk...walk off..." etc, that was amazing...gave it character...

Nikita said...

it's beautiful! your writing's grown up! the poem even has a sense of movement to it!
i wouldn't say anything about what you've written though...
i'll just PSYCHOANALYSE :p

Veronica Gautam said...

Its ok, just dont make that 'Sometimes' often. :)

Ayesha said...

@ kavya - thank you.

@ Nikita - you can psychoanalyse all you want :P :D

@ Veronica - I will try to keep it at a sometimes :)

Mohan said...

To add to what Veronica said, I just thought there was too much 'walking'.
It's like you don't need to breakdown and become hysterical to portray grief.
Sorry, but here is what I did to your verse. I hope you don't mind.

Sometimes I wish I could walk my thoughts away
I wish I could walk my hurt away
Just walk away
On and on and on… forever
My music and me…together
I wish I could just walk off the face of this planet.
Out of people’s memories, hearts
I wish I could walk my memories away.
Walk slow, walk alone, walk away.
Without pain and sorrow and fear
Forget
Stop hoping
Walk till I can’t feel anything anymore.
Till nothing else exists
Till I touch the horizon.
Till the soles off my shoes,
If only I could,
Just walk away..

Ayesha said...

@ Mohan sir - I don't mind at all.. On the contrary, any criticism is welcome. I'll remember what you've said. Thank you :)