Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I fight

I stand in front of the mirror
And I can't meet my own eyes.
I can't face myself.
I've turned into someone I don't recognise anymore.
I've become my worst nightmare.
I've always believed in the power of my mind.
I've always trusted the thoughts I've had.
But now I'm not so sure.
I don't know anymore.

I'm scared of my own thoughts.
Trapped in my mind, I fight to break free.
Thoughts spin around like the winds of a hurricane.
They shift around like desert sand dunes.
A fire burns behind my eyes.
And it consumes me inside out.
Like a disease...
It eats me up.
And I can feel myself disappearing.

I struggle to hold on to myself.
I fight to save the person I used to be.
But I'm not sure of anything anymore.
I don't recognise my own voice.
I don't believe the words I say.
I feel lost, adrift, stranded.

I try to find hope.
I reach out for help.
But all I can hear is laughter.
All I see is rejection.
And all I feel is crushing despair.

I fight a losing battle.


Sukriti said...

What inspired this?
Cause i really like it

Ayesha said...

It just came. It's hard to explain. This post and the one you loved has gotten me into so much trouble here :)

Akanksha Arya said...

In teh middle it reminds me of The Mirror by Sylvia Plath. But I do think, thepunch gets lost somewhere in the middle. It regains its pace at the end.

Ayesha said...

I haven't read "the mirror". I'll try reading it online.

Cave Man said...

When you look long in to abyss, danger is, abyss can look back too.

Ayesha said...

@ Caveman - true that.

Amit upadhyaya said...

really nice!
well written.

Ayesha said...

Thank you Amit.