Sunday, February 14, 2010

Unexplained

I tire myself out
I hope that if I'm too tired
I can stop thinking
Stop feeling.
That if I'm tired enough
The thoughts will stop haunting me.
I walk till I can't feel my feet anymore
But I still feel the thoughts.
I work till I don't know what I'm doing
But the words still hurt.
I wander off to places far away
Turns out they aren't far enough.

My feet are numb,
And my body is exhausted,
But my thoughts still sound as clear as crystal.
They still remind me of what I'm trying to run away from.
They tell me that I'm waiting for something that'll never happen.

The physical exhaustion dulls nothing.
The pain doesn't drive away the voice.
I have no choice left.
I can't run away anymore.
And I can't escape.
I'm trapped...
In my own head.

14 comments:

Nikita said...

will strictly concentrate on the writing... the continuity makes me happy. and i really appreciate how you have refrained from being repititive (an easy trap in writing of this order)
very felt and equally arrousing.
brutally honest.
again.

Nikita said...

I wander off to places far away
Turns out they aren't far enough

BEAUTIFUL.

Ayesha said...

Thank you so much :) Your comments are much appreciated and stored away in the corner reserved for such things :D :P

I like the way it turned out.

I was trying very hard not to be repetitive.

:)

Nikita said...

i'll tell yo what... lets do the challenge thing ("no, no.. i don't think you can eat that entire icecream chunk in a go!") right here, right now...

"no, no... i don't think you can write feel-good stuff! ever!"

Ayesha said...

Reverse psychology huh :) :D

How many times do you think I'll fall for it?

I just might take you up on the challenge though. Let's see :P

TeNsEiGa To Me said...

"...I wander off to places far away
Turns out they aren't far enough"

Wow!

can identify with it - writing flows very smoothly. as in i felt that it was a complete piece that had a begining n middle part that was building up to something, the crux u wanted to get to - "trapped in your head" feeling.

TeNsEiGa To Me said...

P.S.
Read nikita's challenge thing - consider that from my side too, with a slight addition - i dont think you can write feel good stuff AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT!!!
:P

Ayesha said...

@ Kavya - thank you :) And I still haven't found something that makes me happy that's worth writing about.

Sukriti said...

I absolutley and completely love this one.

Ayesha said...

Thank you Sukriti :D It's one of my favourites too.

Akanksha Arya said...

I love the first para. =) The structuring in the 2nd one falls apart a little. Try shorter sentences and the use of a punctuation - "," .
Please.

Ayesha said...

@ Akanksha - Noted. :)

Mashantha said...

Like it :) Ending feels a bit abrupt to me though.

Ayesha said...

@ Mashantha - Thank you. Personally this is one of my favourite pieces of writing.