Sunday, April 25, 2010

I dislike confusion. Internal and external. Confusion throws me off balance. It throws things out of perspective. I lose my centre of gravity and things go out of whack. I hate that. There are a lot of things that I can't avoid, and that sort of confusion I make my peace with. But with the other things, I hate not knowing. And when other people can't control their thoughts and actions, and that creates confusion for me, now that is the worst sort of confusion.

When I can't sort things out in my head, which I should be able to do, I dislike it very much.

So yes, it's easier when I know. And I like balance, order. I like a sense of structure. So when you put me on a seesaw with a constantly changing centre of gravity, I DO NOT like it.

Now don't get me wrong, confusion isn't always bad. It can help sometimes. And sometimes, the whole fun of things is in the confusion, the unpredictability.

But I like my head uncluttered which never seems to happen. I like to KNOW. And sadly enough my knowing seems to have to come from others, which does not help, even a little.

To conclude this very odd post - I do not like confusion and I can't seem to avoid it. Time to change huh?


Neil said...

hah! typical Ayesha...

Neil said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ayesha said...

Yes yes. that :D