Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Small things

I started a story. Wrote this. And then decided I didn't like the story. So I scrapped the story and kept this part. Yes. It's true. I am capable of this too :| Sometimes, I surprise myself. It's everything I laugh at, but I write it well, I think.

It is small things you do which make me smile. It is those small interactions that I remember. I doubt constantly whether I matter to you. I doubt constantly whether you care. I ask over and over what difference I make to you because I feel like I don’t matter. But when you put out a hand when we are crossing the road even though you know I can cross by myself, for that second, I don’t doubt. When you hold my hand on those rare occasions, for that minute, I’m happy. When you tickle me and run away, for those few minutes, I laugh. When you get defensive when I make fun of you, for that moment I see that you care what I think of you. When you want to know what happens in my life and you are offended when I don’t tell you, I rethink what we have between us. When you kiss me, for that moment I believe everything is perfect. When you hug me, for that one moment, I am complete. When you seek me out, I feel better. When our hands brush against one other, for that millisecond, I forget what we don’t have. When you want to share your thoughts with me and you seek me out, for that moment, no one else exists. When you give me a high five, for that second, I feel like everything’s as it should be. When you care about me falling sick, for that moment, I believe we can be. When you say you love me, for that moment, I want to believe that it’s true even though it isn’t. When you don’t say anything, for that one moment, even silence seems precious.

11 comments:

Nikita said...

You make me want to cry, you stupid one.
there is only a thin line between fiction and non.
this one touches.
greatly the appeals to the mega-proportioned romantic side of me.
and to reiterate: makes me want to cry.

Ayesha said...

that wasn't my intention, or maybe it was :)

Thank you. The line gets a little blurred sometimes, I guess :)

And thank you again.

Amit upadhyaya said...

this is perhaps one of your best!

truly......

i think there are moments of certainty and there are moments of doubts, you have captured them both, beautifully......

lovely piece ayesha!!!

TeNsEiGa To Me said...

Why do you write stuff tht hits the heart faster than it gets into the head??
*GAH* tht sounds sappy, ne?

It sounds like you've experienced what you've written and even though the tone is one of doubt, it makes me wanna envy you...

Ayesha said...

@ amit - thank you so much :)

@ kavya - There is nothing enviable about it. And thank you. :)

sush said...

I like :)

Ayesha said...

@ sush - Thank you :)

L.a.l.i.t.a D.h.a.n.v.a.d.a said...

A glance you glance without looking at me and invisible hands reach out to caress my cheek.
A silence you communicate while reading a book when I'm in the room to lend all your ears to me.
A favorite song you whistle when you sense my depression with a big crowd around us to cheer me up.
I cherish you, my dear... whoever you are.

Ayesha said...

@ lalithakka - did you write that?

L.a.l.i.t.a D.h.a.n.v.a.d.a said...

Yeah... some eons ago :-)

Ayesha said...

It's beautiful :)