Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A lack of space is a really bad thing for a hoarder like me. I find it very hard to let go of things, throw things away. Both literally and figuratively.

I collect odd and ends. Tickets, stones, shells, bills. Memories, pictures, movies, books, tv shows. I hoard. And store. Because I find meaning in these things. The bill saved from dinner. The passes to plays and concerts I've been to. The movies I love watching over and over again. Quotes saved as drafts on my phone. A stone which looks just right in the sunlight. Shells from beach visits when we were kids. I keep all these. And attach importance to these inanimate objects. And I'm scared that letting any of these things go would mean that I'll forget.

I'll forget that really amazing concert. I'll never find that pretty stone again. That I won't remember that really nice dinner. That I won't remember that one really bad day. That I'll forget... That if I let go of one thing, that'll mean it's gone forever.

So then I start running out of boxes to keep these things. My table gets cluttered. And my hard drive acts up because there is too much on it.

And I have to start clearing things out. And throwing things away. With every paper i throw away, I feel like I'm forgetting.

But I guess there are some things you just must throw away. Some conversations you shouldn't remember. Some things you should just let go of.

Doesn't make it any simpler knowing that...

4 comments:

Rohini said...

I'm a lot like you in this matter. Nothing ever left my room because my sister would throw something,I'd like it and pick it up and weave my own memories around it.Keeping the little reminders of incidents, events, everything...
But recently, I let go of things from my past that were not letting me live in the present. It's not 'forgotten' but its being out of my face helped me live. Try it. And don't regret..Sometimes, you may even get some of those things back in your life. And then, it feels really really good! :)

Ayesha said...

Doesn't make it any easier knowing that they must go :)

mehernaz said...

I agree with Ro. Recently, I burned all my diaries - all 8 of them - that I've maintained since I was in class 6! I wonder if I will regret it, but there's too much in there that I really need to let go of in order to be at peace today. It's hard, but it's worth it! :)

PS: Deleting all your music : not such a good idea.

Ayesha said...

Oh wow :O You BURNT all of them? I don't think I could do that...

And I could never ever delete my music. Ever.