You fall to new lows everyday. And constantly struggle to come back to the level you used to be at.
The thing is, the harder you try to climb to the top, the faster you slip to the bottom.
You grovel for attention. You can't deal with separation. The dark scares you. And loneliness lets the nightmares attack. You pounce on the scraps of respect that people dole out. You look for meaning in empty words. You dream of the impossible and hope it'll come true even though you know it won't. You expect what you don't deserve.
Eventually, you look into the mirror and can't meet your own eyes because you have fallen so very hard, so very fast and you're ashamed of it.
That's when you know for sure.
Change is a cruel mistress. It turns you into your worst nightmare.
And there is no coming back from where you've ended up.