Saturday, November 16, 2013



1. Be ugly. Unattractive. Unappealing. Lots of acne helps because it's offputting. Being dark also helps because fair is beautiful and dark isn't. Or be fat, that's supposed to be unattractive too. Or be all of the above.
2. Look like a boy if you can. Short hair, loose shirt, loose jeans, floaters or sneakers and hoodie. And if you get called sir or bhaiya, smile and play along. It's good for you.
3. Practice stooping when you walk. Retreat into yourself. Become as small and unnoticeable as you possible can.
4. Learn to walk really fast.
5. Own a vehicle. Any vehicle. A scooter, a car, a cycle even. It's the best option. Screw the traffic and everything. Find a way to get one and use it all the time.
6. Use a hoodie. Zip up and the forcefield goes on. Put the hood on and it gets stronger.
7. Use earphones or headphones. Really loud.
8. Dupattas or shawls also work. Anything to cover you head, your face, your body.
9. Cover your legs till you feet. Wearing a short skirt? Cover it with a longer skirt. And don't forget the previous point.
10. Do not make eye contact. With anyone.
11. Do not smile. At anyone.
12. Do not ask for directions. Use your phone and the GPS. Or wing it. Or maybe find some lady to ask directions from.

And you know what, it'll all be futile anyway. But still try. Because it's better than feeling you gave up.


Kavya said...

I commented on the woollens post first. Because this one scared me and I had to give some space before I commented. What was the intention or the motivation (such dark motivation) behind this?
Because it's so fatalistic...and it's been a while since I've read that from your writings.

Brilliant but scary.

Ayesha said...

I didn't have my scooter. And was taking the bus and walking home after that. Nothing happened at all, but that was the inspiration.

This is another one of those pieces where I'm working on a second angle to it.

Kavya Ashok Kumar said...

:D Brilliant!
Second angle as in another telling of the same thing from a different POV??

Ayesha said...

Not another point of view. Just the application of the same concept to something else.

Aishwarya Ramanathan said...

this one i really like!! your writing has gotten so much better...
write more like this...

Ayesha said...

Thank you :)

And yes. I'm trying.