Selflessness

Being different is the in thing. Everyone wants to be abstract, weird, random. It’s not COOL to be plain. It’s not COOL to be sober.

I wonder, in this rush to be different, aren’t we all alike? In the very fundamental desire to be unique, aren’t we all similar? Is there really a person out there who is completely unique? I think not; because at the very core we are all exactly the same. All of our relationships are need based. All of us are desperate for acceptance.

We can cry ourselves hoarse saying our relationships are selfless, but that doesn’t change the inherent fact that we NEED social contact. The whole concept of selfless love seems unbelievable to me because the very fact that you call it selfless proves it is selfish. Selfish because you NEED to tell yourself it’s true. Selfish because you NEED it to be true. Selfish because you NEED it to be selfless.

Random observations

Random observations I've made. I know I'm stating the obvious.

Beware of someone who's being unusually nice to you. It usually means they need something from you.

Highs are very high and then lows hit. They're the worst.

People are unpredictable. Very unpredictable.

A person's mind is a maze you do not want to enter. Because if you do, there's no way you can find your way out.

Good music and good books can be great friends. The best things when you don't want people around you because they take you to a world where things aren't as bad as they really are.

Walking is more than an exercise. It's a great way to think. But then too much thinking is never good either.

Finally something :)

Finally wrote something which I think is worth putting up.

You know how things can bite you in the arse? Trust is one of those things. It can come back and haunt you. Don’t give it away easily. Once you let it go, it can wreak all kinds of havoc. It can mess with your head. It makes you hope it’s a release from loneliness. It makes you believe, that you can’t, won’t be hurt. Nope. Trust can hurt; it can hurt so bad that nothing else matters. Trust gone wrong, trust misplaced, is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Because the pain is not physical, it’s mental, which is worse. It can make you want to kick yourself. Misplaced, broken trust is what starts the whole chain of doubt and questions.

So don’t let anyone know you better than you know yourself. Always, always keep your guard up because letting someone in can be the biggest mistake you ever make. Don’t let someone touch you so much that when they leave you can’t take it. Don’t let them in so much that when they go, you feel like a fool because that feeling does not feel good.

Trust – it can bite you hard..

Envy

It's not constructed right. And I still have to modify it.

It always hurts when someone gets more attention than you.
It’s childish, and it’s immature
But it still hurts
Envy always creeps in.
And how much ever you want to,
You just can’t stop.
Every negative thought you have,
You regret,
But you can’t stop
And all those old feelings
That you thought you grew out of
That you thought you left behind
Come rushing right back
And they still sting, as much as they did then
All those feelings of insecurity
Which you know mean absolutely nothing
Come right back
You can’t help it
And you hate it
But they’re there..
And they eat you up from inside
Slowly, surely
Little by little.

Serenity

Just a few lines.

Peace, calm, serenity
So unlike life...
Just the sky
And the silent ripples.
Minutes just flow like sand through my fingers
Life floats away on the breeze...

Realisations

I realised something.
I am not the one who's drowning
I am not surrounded by darkness
I don't need a helping hand
I don't need warm brown eyes
I don't need the promises

I am somebody's helping hand
I'm somebody's warm brown eyes
I'm somebody's promise
I'm somebody's support
I'm someone's light at the end of the tunnel
I'm someone's silver lining

And that makes me happy.
To know that I finally mean something to someone
Even though it isn't much
I mean SOMETHING

It's not my place in the puzzle
And it's not my notes holding the symphony together
And it's not my colours making the picture

But its a place till I find a more permanent one
My notes are holding a tune together
And they are making someone's picture

It heartens me that I can be this person
This shoulder,
This support
It gives me hope that I can give someone hope
And it makes me happy that I can make someone happy

As I say goodbye today

I wrote this poem a long time back as a farewell poem for my friends. I meant to put it up when I wrote it but I just never got around to it. It's very normal but it says what I was thinking.

As I say goodbye today
I look back on all the happy times we have had
We shared a lot of laughs
I smile when I remember the goofiness
And all the silly jokes
I wonder if the distance will weaken
The bridges we have built between our hearts
So many fond memories...
The sleepovers we had
The movies we watched
All the gossip
The silly arguments
The secrets we shared.
I close my eyes
And I can still see all the places we used to go to
And all the time we used to waste
I flip through the pictures we took
And I realize that leaving
Is going to be very hard
Every picture
Every memory
Every bad joke
Every random thought
Is going to remain etched on my heart and mind..
I’m preparing to step out into the world
And I will miss the support
That I knew was always there
I will always remember the sound of your laughter
And hope that time and distance
Will not affect the beautiful friendship we shared...
I know that as I grow older
The pictures may fade
And so might the memories
But the love
Will never be erased,
Never diminish
And never disappear...
Goodbye dear friend..
And thank you for everything..