Quotable quote and all that

Life is all about getting used to doing things you do not want to do. - Yours truly

Magic

I never believed in magic. I'm the logical type, you see. Magic is for the children, for fairy tales and poems, for the weak who console themselves with lies.

But how wrong am I. I could not have been farther from the truth.

Magic exists. All it takes is a moment, and it's there, staring you in the face.

I experienced magic this weekend at NH7 Weekender in Pune. I saw it envelop me, caress me, carry me away. For one weekend, I went on a vacation I will never forget. Back to a place that was my home away from home for three years but now is just a place I can visit once in a while. I met old friends, people who grew with me, around me. I made new friends, in the most unexpected way, people who have changed me for good. I walked down the corridors I trudged along for three years. Met those people who structured my life, gave it direction. And I attended India's happiest music festival. They don't call it that for nothing.

I stood mesmerised as musicians spun magic with their words, their tunes, their instruments. I danced along as they carried me away on clouds of joy. I ran from The Dewarists stage to the Other stage, pushing and jostling for the best view. I screamed myself hoarse and head-banged till my neck hurt. I didn't sleep. I was happy. And that's all that mattered. From Kailasa to the Raghu Dixit Project, from Shrilektric to the Karsh Kale Collectiv, from Trilok Gurtu to Seun Kuti, from Agam to Thermal and a Quarter, from Alien Chutney to the Bombay Bicycle Club, from the Manganiyar Seduction by Roysten Abel to Swanand and Shantanu; every single one of them together wove a collective spell that made me leave the world behind and disappear into a land of happiness and magic.

Leaving that festival behind and saying goodbye to old friends and new was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Experiencing such magic and then having to leave it all behind was insanely difficult.

The dream had to end, the spell had to break. But unlike a dream which you barely remember when you wake up, this magic is something I will always carry in my mind. Moments which I will flick through at will to find that magic again. Because those moments were real, they happened and they will always, always be a part of me.

November 2, 3 and 4, 2012, thank you for making me believe in magic again.

I've written before about dialogues that have stuck with me. Either for their truth, their simplicity, their relevance or just the brilliance of the words.

This one just stuck.

"But that doesn't excuse any of it. I'm pond scum. Well, lower actually. I'm like the - the fungus that feeds on pond scum.
Lower. The pus that infects the mucous... that cruds up the fungus... that feeds on the pond scum." - My best friend's wedding

Yes, it's from a chick-flick and yes, I've watched it way too many times to even remember how many times I've watched it.

And this one dialogue stayed. Because there are times when that's what I feel like - pond scum.

It's funny how when things are going well, no one ever bothers to think about the future. The present is just too 'okay'.

But does no one realise that these, the very moments that are 'okay', are the best times to think about what's to come? Because now, when things are fine and the mind is calm, the future isn't as scary or horrible. Now, when the present has fallen into place, you can peacefully look ahead, with the security that even if you see something dark there, the present will keep you sane and strong.

In times of turmoil, when everything seems to be falling apart, that's when the future seems the scariest. And that's the worst time to plan, or to think. When things are going badly now, everything to come seems wrong too. There is too much happening right now, in this very instant, too much to hold together, to be able to make space for what's to come. And that's when it all truly falls apart.

Use the good to prepare and plan, to dream and save. Use the fine, to make things even better.

Dreams are like clothes. People grow out of them. And then they need to be modified a bit for them to fit again. The stitches need to be let out of the pants, maybe a belt needs to be bought, the shirt might have to be mended.

Sometimes though, the old dreams need to be thrown away, even though the oldest things are the most comfortable. It's like throwing away that tattered blankie, or the oversized shirt with holes in it which smells and feels just right. Like old dreams, which don't fit anymore.

Yes, this coming from a hoarder like me is a little contradictory, but I've understood that some things need to go, only to make place for better ones.

So those old dreams, though comfortable and just right, need to go. Or need to be modified, fixed. Whatever makes them fit better.

Because hey, what else do we work towards but making those dreams come true.

It's four!

I just realised it.

This blog, a dumping ground for my ideas, fears and everything in between, turned four this month. Four years this old thing has been chugging along. Collecting all the bits and pieces I have fed it over the years. Sometimes one post post per month, sometimes none, sometimes more; it has taken it all and stored it away.

A testament to me.

Four long years it has been since I decided I wanted to keep writing. With or without readers. With or without comments.

My first post was on Aug 12, 2008. And it's belated, but HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY, THINGS AND THOUGHTS!

And to all of you who have read and commented and stuck with it, thank you.

Here's to you, dear blog.

Broken poems

Later
Soon
Never
Just words so casually spoken

Promises made
Easily forgotten

Hours spent
Watching the seconds tick down

Waiting
While everyone rushes ahead

Tiptoeing
Through broken glass

Every sentence measured
Edited
Chopped down

A life on hold
Trips never taken
Memories never made

A future
Never to be

Thoughts
Taboo
Forbidden

Dreams locked away
The key hidden forever

Empty letters
Broken poems