Behind all sarcasm is a grain of truth. Every joke has a fact as its basis. Every wisecrack, every mean comment, though meant in jest is based on a thought which is in turn based on a truth. A joke is an exaggeration of the truth.

So when you look behind the laughter and the fun; when you dig deeper; hidden away is that tiny grain of truth.

Man is a social animal. He feeds off other humans. he needs relationships to stay alive. He needs interaction and communication, of any kind to survive.

The problem is, these interactions and relationships are often just as detrimental to a person's survival as starvation or dehydration. Because some relationships sap your energy and peace of mind. They play with your head and make you forget who you are. They change you, fundamentally, on a core level. They make you doubt and question and lie and fear. They make you trust and believe. Worst of all, they make you hope, for more than you ever will get. They make you expect. And just as easily, they destroy your expectations. Kapow!

Relationships are a catch 22 situation. You can't live without them. And they destroy you when you are in them.

Sand castles

Building sandcastles was something many of us loving doing; painstakingly filling the small plastic bucket with wet sand and then overturning it, hoping that the castle would stand. Then came adding new towers and floors. Also, who can forget the moat of crocodiles? We would make sure nothing crumbled down by adding sand, adding water. But then the waves would come. And all that work would come to naught because after all, what is sand when compared to the sea?

As children though, we wouldn't give up, believing that we could defeat the waves. And we'd move a little further back and start anew.

Life feels a lot like this. The careful filling up of the bucket and then overturning it with fingers crossed, hoping the castle will stand and the risk pays off. That jubilant feeling when it does. And then the reinforcements to make stronger. Building it little by little. Only to have it all washed away in the blink of an eye by the relentless waves.

The difference now is that it gets more difficult to begin again each time the castle is destroyed. Lessons are learnt the hard way. Experiences are remembered and the hope dims. That childish faith in starting anew and believing that the castle will stand this time around is gone.

Because how many times will you keep trying and how many times can you just believe?

Life after all, is as relentless and tireless as the waves. And we aren't children any more.

Living with someone you love can be lonelier than living entirely alone. When the one you love doesn't love you.

- Cat on a hot tin roof.

This quote has stuck with me ever since I saw the movie. And every time I read it, the sheer honesty and truth of the statement hits me.

It doesn't have to be living together. It can just mean being together with a person who doesn't love you like you love them.

It doesn't have to be love in a romantic sense. It can be friendship too. With people who don't appreciate you.

In the end, love unrequited is loneliness, rejection and a whole lot more.

Glue, tape, string. You use everything you can to make sure the pieces stick. To make sure that things stay together. You mend. You fix. You hold everything in place. You pretend there aren't any pieces missing when everything doesn't fit right. You cover the out of shape parts with the good ones, so that they can't be seen. You paint over the cracks and the holes and the tape. You pretend it's all hunky dory.

Or at least you try.

The film industry loves making films about speed and unstoppable vehicles. The train is on a track going at a breakneck speed and it need to be stopped. Or the bus is fitted with a bomb which will explode if the speed falls below a certain level. Etc etc etc.

What if you know for sure that the path you have chosen is going to end in a walloping crash? That the moment you stepped on it, you set out on a journey that will end in disappointment? What if you are on a vehicle that is set to blow up and you know it? What if all the choices you have made culminate in a dramatic mushroom cloud of smoke?

Do you jump off? Or do you enjoy the ride while it lasts?

Christmas

December and January are my favourite months of the year. The end and the beginning.

I've been meaning to write about Christmas for a long time now. So here goes. And yes, I'm off by a day but better late than never right.

I like the idea of Christmas. The idea of Christmas that has been pushed into my brain through Hollywood movies and literature. And call me cliched but I've always wanted it. That image of a roaring fireplace with a huge table laden with food. The wine and the turkey and the stuffing. The snow outside the window with the carols playing in the background. The warm woolens and the rich chocolate cake. The pudding and the pies. The big Christmas roast and the wonderful sauce and the steaming mugs of cocoa after. The sips of brandy all around to chase away the cold. The coffee. The laughter and the gossip of the family. The blankets and the socks. The reruns of old Christmas movies on the TV.

I've always wanted a white Christmas. And I don't think people who know me should be surprised that a major part of this post has been dedicated to the food.

But this is my Christmas wish. A huge Christmas feast with all the trappings. And great company to share it with.