Waking dreams

This one i wrote as an epilogue kinda thing to both Maybe and Fear(the last 2 poems)...I am quite proud of it because I thought it came out well..

WAKING DREAMS
I hoped for too much
Too soon.
I knew it wouldn't last
But it still hurt when it ended.
I saw the warm brown eyes
Still smiling.
The hand in mine
Still warm,
Still guiding me.
I could finally see
The light at the end of the tunnel.
Bit in an instant
I turned smiling
Only to find
Blackness again.
No more warmth.
It had all been
An illusion,
A trick my mind
Was playing on me.
And I felt the crushing weight return
To block out the light.

I stood in front of the mirror,
Saw a reflection,
I reached my fingers out,
To touch the smooth glass,
Hoping the person in it,
The smiling, hopeful person there,
Wouldn't fade away.
But the mirror shattered
Into a thousand, million fragments
And I realised
That I had been fooled again.

I had let myself believe,
Hope,
And trust,
Only to have everything taken away
Only to realise that
There was never a silver lining
Never a light to end the darkness.
It had been an obscene joke,
Played by my mind.

I stand in the rain,
Feeling the splattering drops
Prick my skin
Like a thousand needles.
But the pain is nothing
Compared to the agony inside.
I hope the rain can wash me away.
I want to disintegrate
And flow away in the raging water.
If only,
To ease the ache.
Because I know now,
That life and reality are illusions
And trust and hope are weaknesses
And that all I have left inside
Are miniscule fragments
Of my heart and soul,
Which can never be put back
Together.......