Sameer Dattani gave me the concept and asked me to build something around it. I tried my best and this is what I could come up with.
I close my eyes
And find her
Her eyes
Her smile
Her fingers
Picture perfect.
Her image etched on the back of my eyelids.
An image
Created bit by bit,
Colour added slowly
Over time.
Drop by drop
Tint by tint
Fermented like wine.
As she grew closer
As she made her way in
Promising never to leave.
The picture,
I held so close to me.
The perfection
I believed existed.
But then she changed.
The image no longer the same.
The image still dear,
But dearer than her.
Flawless as marble.
As fleeting as a gust of wind,
But as permanent as the sky.
The admiration faded away
The flaws stood out like white on black.
The love died away
And she left
Just like that she left,
Leaving a hole
Where she had once promised to stay.
But the picture remained
She was long gone
But the picture stayed
As clear as crystal
Still flawless,
Her beauty still spellbinding.
But that is what she became,
A PICTURE.
15 comments:
love it...can totally identify with it, familiarly deep! :P
Thank you Kavya. But I somehow think I couldn't get the depth in the words. the concept is so much deeper and stronger.
There is much more to that Picture. Try some editing.
@ Akanksha - will try.
though it isnt what i had in mind.
its nothing short of brilliant.
in ways i cant express,it is a better execution of the idea,which i have come to realise, was never mine to be written.
its a forgotten thought revived,
i ll work on it and send you a draft.
and job well done,Teddy.
Thank you Sameer :)
hey this is srija, remember me, the piece is beautiful, u should really take this up as a profession
Hey Ayesha.
The concept is deep, and you've gone in deep enough to leave the unexplored to the reader.
Well written, in any case. :)
@ Srija - Of course I remember you :) Thank you.
@ Ritika - Thank you so much :)
hey ayesha!..i keep cmng back to read dz one!.. love it!..i thnk u shud publish it! :D..
Thank you so much :)
This is brilliant. I love your style babe. Captured so well. I am sure every guy who has lost a love, every person who has lost a mother/sister will be able to relate to this. Love this one totally.
@ Lalithakka - Thank you :) I somehow feel I could've done better though.
I love the imagery. And the concept of conflict between the picture of people we have in our minds and who they really are.
And you don't have to capture the depth in words completely, sometimes it's better to let the reader's mind fill in the blanks, so they can relate. :) In this case, i'd say it was a success.
@ Karthik - Thank you. The comment is much appreciated :)
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